Friday, September 9, 2016

Charlotte's Birth Story

I regret not writing this down sooner but the longer I wait the more I'll forget so here it goes. Thankfully we are able to get pregnant easily but that's about where the "easy" stops for me with the whole experience. So while it is bittersweet to not be pregnant anymore and feel her moving around etc it's mostly sweet and not much bitter ;) Charlotte is the happiest, easiest baby I have ever seen. She is such a blessing to our family, God knew exactly what I needed when he knit that sweet girl together. We were very iffy on my due date. Between May 31 to the beginning of June. So although according to my doctor I was 41 weeks and some change (overdue) her size and just the unknown of dates makes me think I was 40 weeks and some change when she was born. Anyways. We stopped progesterone shots a few weeks before my due date and just like Penelope I had tons of contractions and was @ 4cm and 100% before real labor even started. June 8 I went to the doctor and we did a second sweep. Later that afternoon I was having contractions 5 minutes apart for 2 hours or so. When they got longer and stronger and closer together we called a friend to come stay with P and L and headed to the office. (If it's during office hours they want you to come in so you don't waste a trip to the hospital) I was emotional leaving Liam and Penelope but was pretty calm and excited. At the office I was a 4/5. He said I was making progress but not any huge change and to go walk and if they slow down go home and if they get worse go on in. So will and I went to Target and walked. They got so intense we left a full cart in the middle of the aisle. We got checked in and she said I was still a 4/5. Man I was really feeling like they should be doing more but they went ahead and admitted me. I walked some more and very slowly got to 7 and stayed at a 7 until 5am. Those contractions were painful but I was able to breath through them. A friend had made these scripture cards that I used a lot and I kept asking will to talk about Jesus and Liam and Penelope and the anticipation of meeting Charlotte. Mostly I was kneeling in bed during or squatting on the floor during  this time but different positions helped at different times. We  decided to break my water at that time. I have a difficult time describing what I felt other than fear that I was going to die. It was incomparable to what I felt with Liam and Penelope. I screamed for the Doctor and Nurse to get out of the room so I could be alone with Will. I put my face up to his and said babe I need the epidural but I'm so afraid you will be disappointed in me. He of course reassured me I NEEDED the epidural and was so proud of me and I had suffered long enough basically. I requested the epidural and thankfully the anesthesiologist was right outside the room. My nurse and will did counter pressure on my hips while I waited which was all of 2 contractions. So thankfully it was so quick. My nurse said she has never seen one administered so quickly. Praise God. Also my nurse had 4 natural labors so she totally knew where I was. Well once he did the epidural there was no time to do a catheter or anything I said I feel baby's head between my legs and sure enough she was coming. 1 push and she was here! I'll never ever forget reaching for my sweet Charlotte. I mean she was so precious and beautiful. We cried tears of joy. All of the sickness and shots just instantly meant nothing. While I didn't get the relief of the epidural for contractions or pushing I was thankful for it for the "recovery" if you will. Mommas you know what I'm talking about :) stitches without any numbing are not fun. That was by far the most traumatic part of Penelope's birth. I had told Will 2 weeks before Char was born in tears. "I know I can do contractions, transition and pushing but I'm so scared of the stitches after. I wish they could just give me an epidural for the stiches after." Isn't that just wild?! Why am I surprised when God gives me just what I need?  She was a strong nurser right away and recovery was a breeze as much as childbirth recovery can be and we were able to leave the hospital 24 hours later. That first shower after is just the most refreshing shower of life. Will was amazing as usual. That man shines in any kind of crisis or intense situation. He was up all day, all night and then once I got settled went to the kids "last day of school programs" he had a hard time leaving Char but loved on me by being there for them while char and I rested. He came right back to hospital and the 3 of us were able to spend more time together. The big kids came up that afternoon/evening I think around 4:00. It was an even sweeter moment and experience than I could have dreamed up. We needed Charlotte and I'm grateful to God that she is here safe and sound!

Monday, November 23, 2015

October and November 2015

Man this Friday will be seven weeks of sickness. My doctor diagnosed me with hyperemesis gravidarum. Having this diagnosis gave me freedom. Freedom from feeling guilt so heavy for failing so miserably at everything except laying in bed and going to the bathroom to throw up. It emotionally drained me. I ENJOY being active and productive and serving my family and others by cooking and cleaning and errands and investing in others and when all that is taken away it feels like your purpose is taken away. Will is sweet to gently remind me my only job right now is growing this new babe. It allowed me to look on Instagram and blogs and see how other women went through this and were DEPRESSED because it's depressing to feel like you are losing months of you family's lives and events. I didn't have the energy or ability or even read a book or give a bath. I spent 23 hours a day in bed. It gave me freedom to not feel this need to say "I'm so sick but at least I can be pregnant" no! It's okay to just be miserable and sick and not apologize or be grateful. Not to say you aren't thankful for this sweet new life. But you don't need to "feel" thankful during every deep, dark moment of misery. It's okay to be depressed. The sweet end to this for me as that the medicine works! Zofran took me from throwing up 20 times a day to throwing up 5 times a week. It kept me hydrated and out of the hospital. And I'm getting these pockets of time, these 2-3 hours of time that I can be out of bed playing with my kids, helping with chores, feeling human again. I'm 12 weeks tomorrow and praying complete relief comes soon. Our doctor gave us the option to have blood work done to show us gender, babies DNA, any abnormalities, etc so we did the sonogram today and will get the results soon. The technician said "I think it's a boy but don't hold me to it!" We are thrilled and can't wait to find out for sure. I needed to know the gender this early this time! I need to bond with this baby. I have felt so distant during this pregnancy. With Liam and Penelope I was really sick, and I think some of it you forget but I know it wasn't this bad, living in bed. 

So totally switching gears! Maryland. We moved to a suburb of DC in Maryland on October 1st. We sold our home in Saratoga Woods in Louisville KY. When we bought that house we bought it as an investment. We got it for a steal and it needed a lot of love! Will put his blood sweet and tears in it and it caught on fire! Our world fell apart and stopped all at the same time. Little did we know it would be one of the worst and best things to ever happen to us. The housing market in DC is double what it is in Louisville! How could we afford a home there? The money we made on the house in Louisville allowed us to get into a home and neighborhood we LOVE here! We joke that we were praying about Maryland and God said "I'll set their house on fire to get them there." And it isn't funny, it's serious. 9 months have gone by and not one day has passed that we haven't said the words fire or insurance. It's literally rebuilding your life. While we didn't lose everything, we lost most of it. Its just been overwhelming facing all of these events in a year. But what a blessing! We have grown! And grown! And grown some more! Personally, in our marriage, in our faith. Challenge is a blessing. Change is a blessing. It's rough and hard and good for us! I feel like when Liam was born premature, Will and I grew up that week. We went from kids to adults. Not knowing if your child will live changes you. Then seeing God grow and heal their little body changes you some more. It makes you not care about anything, anything at all. It doesn't make me perfect. But I'm grateful for what it did to my heart. Anyways, while we had challenges since he was born, nothing really rocked my world, I mean it would be "little and normal stuff" I can't really think of an example but I guess that shows it was nothing major. Until the fire. And while I still want my house to be cozy and welcoming and pretty and I still like Tory Burch ;) I know that tomorrow my house could burn down and it wouldn't matter. What matters is Jesus and Will and Liam and Penelope and this sweet 12 week old "boy but don't hold me to it"

We love it in Maryland. Will loves his job, Liam and Penelope are flourishing. I'm ready for routine and deeper friendships and just functioning as a human but I know it's a good situation for us. The church has been so generous and kind and welcoming especially since I have been sick. 

Thanksgiving is in three days! Cheers to family and friends, yummy food and grateful hearts! 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Morning sickness

I really wish I would make time to blog more but I just know it's not going to happen. But I am so thankful to have these little snipets to look back on as our family grows. Will and I email the kids and we will give them those email addresses when we feel they need it most, possibly their 18th birthdays or before they get married. But I'm glad to have the occasional blogposts as well. I found out we were expecting our third child on September 22, I had a very faint positive test, on the 25th it was boldly a YES! Since you can't have a false positive I don't know why I felt the need to take 3 tests total! I just couldn't believe it! I was just praising Jesus for this new little life! Will had already been living in Maryland where we were moving to shortly so I didn't think it would happen so fast! That's a gift I don't take for granted, with so many suffering with the grief of infertility, when I get sick with morning sickness or have to go on bed rest, etc I remember to be thankful that it's easy for us to get pregnant. Which brings me to my second point, morning sickness, I just feel so miserable all the time. It feels like constant motion sickness. It started on the 9th and got progressively worse. I have had several hour stretches in these last 11 days that I feel almost normal, but I still cry I want the sickness to go away so badly. I know it means a healthy pregnancy so that is a gift. I go to the doctor for my first appointment tomorrow. Praying for a good report and for some medicine to provide some relief. I think I am 9 weeks along but they will confirm that tomorrow. I want to post soon about Maryland and the big kids but I really quickly wanted to hop on here so I would remember some dates and details.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014


The and were the first websites to really push us to hey we can do any of this! 

Fireplace After

Fireplace Before

The first thing Will said when we walked into our house was "I'm going to knock that wall down and build a new fireplace." And that is just what he did. The first thing I said is "When can I get hardwood floors?" and That is the second thing he did.

Restoration Hardware Lighting Hack

I had my eye on these light fixtures (had them in my online cart totaling $1000) for several months. When Will and I were at Target the other day I jumped up and down in the lamp shade aisle and purchased these two guys for $17 a piece. We went straight to Lowes where will spent $80 on two electrical box kits and extra tubing to make them longer in our vaulted ceiling dining room. He then removed our dust/curry infested fanπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. And went into the attic to work his electrician magic. And walah! Is that a word? I have my dream lights for under $100. A tenth of the price. Will is super smart and handy but since we have purchased this house I have been amazed at his talent. He basically can do anything plumbing, electric, drywall, painting, installing, building! He watches YouTube videos to get pointers. It's super hot πŸ˜‰